Straight Lines

11. The Princess And The Frog

Lyrics & music: Michael Peter Smith
2003 Trevor Mills

Vocals & guitar: Mike Agranoff
Recorded live in concert at Bound for Glory, Ithaca, NY, October 5, 2014

Michael Smith is best known for his lovely and poignant song "The Dutchman," but he practically reinvents himself with every song he writes. And just about every one is a gem in its own particular genre. This one is essentially an elaborate shaggy-dog story, enhanced by one of the most un-singable choruses in folk-dom.

1.
One day a beautiful princess was walking on the bog.
On a slab of peat, who should she meet but Fred the Talking Frog.
" Well the top of the morning to you lass, hello hello cries he.
I'd be glad you know if you'd stop a mo', and listen close to me.
You see I've been bewitched, and I'm needing a royal miss
Such as your lovely self To give this ugly mug a kiss.
Such a metamorphosis will then ensue, I'll tell you true,
For I'm really a former prince, and I'll straightway marry you."

Chorus 1
To me rightful rightful Johnny Go Darum
Higgledy-piggledy down and around, to me
High low harem and scarem,
Riding a white horse to Cranberry Town.
To me toady, toady, Truman Capote,
Driving to Sligo with Molly O'Shea,
For to dance by the sea with a right cup of tea
On a bleary Sunday morning.

2.
"Well I heard that song and that dance before, says the Princess, "It's all fine.
But if it's a kiss you're after, the chance is you'll have to stand in line.
There's frogs outside me father's castle. Frogs in the royal hall.
Frogs is climbing up the chimney. Frogs is bouncing off the wall.
Frogs is floating on the moat, and up the stairs, and on the shelf.
If I had to kiss every one yiz Jaysus I'd have no time to myself.
But laddie let's make it swift, for lately falls the hour,
And I'm due home for me evening shift of pining in the tower.
"

Chorus 2
To me rightful rightful Johnny Go Darum
Higgledy-piggledy down and around, to me
High low harem and scarem,
Riding a white horse to Cranberry Town.
To me toady, toady, Truman Capote,
Faith and begorrah, it's Maureen O'Hara
Driving to Sligo with Molly O'Shea,
For to dance by the sea with a right cup of tea
On a bleary Sunday morning.

3.
She's just about to kiss him, when Mrs. Frog comes hopping by,
Crying, "Fred you're late for supper!" "Coming dear," was his reply.
" You mean he's not bewitched?" the princess says.
" Just odd," says Mrs. Frog. "And into kissing princesses he meets upon the bog.
And though I love me Fred, I fear he chafes at family ties.
I'd invite you home for supper me dear, but we only have two flies.
Thank God you didn't kiss him! Today's your lucky day.
When I kissed Fred I was a princess too. That's how I got this way."

Chorus 3
To me rightful rightful Johnny Go Darum
Higgledy-piggledy down and around, to me
High low harem and scarem,
Riding a white horse to Cranberry Town.
To me toady, toady, Truman Capote,
Faith and begorrah, it's Maureen O'Hara.
Hark to the herald, it's Barry Fitzgerald
Driving to Sligo with Molly O'Shea,
For to dance by the sea with a right cup of tea
On a bleary Sunday morning.

Chorus 4
To me rightful rightful Johnny Go Darum
Higgledy-piggledy down and around, to me
High low harem and scarem,
Riding a white horse to Cranberry Town.
To me toady, toady, Truman Capote,
Faith and begorrah, it's Maureen O'Hara
Hark to the herald, it's Barry Fitzgerald
All in a Volkswagen with Victor McLagen
Driving to Sligo with Molly O'Shea,
For to dance by the sea with a right cup of tea
On a bleary Sunday morning.

For to dance by the sea on an LSD Timothy
Leary Sunday morning .